if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
