Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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