its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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