my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
