can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
