If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
