Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We have so much sex to catch up on
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
