does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
