I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
