Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
