Fuck appropriateness.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Vodka?
Forever.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
