i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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