Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize