so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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