Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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