if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
