Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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