Can Purell be used as lube?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
