It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize