I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize