i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
