You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
