After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
