Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
