I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
