he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
