He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Randomize
