So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
