i need an iv and a liver transplant
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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