I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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