you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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