Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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