Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
