I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
