Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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