so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Maybe he injected his testicle?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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