I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
