I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
