if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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