I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
