I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
