In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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