Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
