you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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