While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
My pussy is not your playground.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
