If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
