My first STD was from a foam party
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
