Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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