The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
