I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
