literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
