"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
