no, he came in my armpit
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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