your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
