Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
