So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
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is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
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Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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