billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
