The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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