Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I will die if light touches me.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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