There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Couch. On fire.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
