so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Randomize
