theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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