Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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